we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
