You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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