it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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