I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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