omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize