Betty ford says i'm here all night
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
