she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
