glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My ass is underappreciated
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize