I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
