My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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