just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
