i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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