He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
