She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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