So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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