is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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