The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
