You can't special order awesome
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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