meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
