We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
