every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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