brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
