I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We need to get me chipped asap
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
