Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
