"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Randomize
