Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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