yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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