dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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