i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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