Is it because I queefed?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize