We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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