He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
