How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
