everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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