chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
