in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
