Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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