I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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