Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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