lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
