was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
