he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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