I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
