So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
