I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
