She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
