Dual....:-)
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
