News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
