She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize