You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
