I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize