He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
