allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
