My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
