Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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