You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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