just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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