K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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