If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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