are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
