still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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