I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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