So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
