Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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