If i come over, it means nothing
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
