she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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